Everyone knows that Pablo Sanchez is the Mike Trout of Backyard Baseball. But what Reese Worthington? Kimmy Eckman? Sally and Ronny Dobbs?

I recently got back into Backyard Baseball.

I don’t want to know what kind of viruses I may or may not get on my computer soon, but the Mighty Melonheads won the World Series, so it’s all worth it.

I refused to play with any of the professionals they had in the game. If I did use the pros, Jeromy Burnitz and Marty Cordova would not have made the cut.

But I’m an OG and wanted to be pure.

But it got me thinking — who are the Backyard Baseballers’ MLB comparisons?

Well, in no particular order, here ya go.

All 30 Backyard Baseball to MLB comparisons

Pablo Sanchez: Babe Ruth, Mike Trout, Albert Pujols, Cy Young, Ken Griffey Jr. combined

No words. You know the drill.

 

Keisha Phillips: Pete Alonso

Phillips, like Alonso is a mountainous figure who hits bombs. To be honest, Phillips might be more of a power threat than Sanchez.

They both have thunderous swings, and their baserunning is a slept-on aspect in both of their games.

 

Pete Wheeler: Trea Turner

The speed is impeccable, and the power is there. Turner tied a career-high 19 homers in just 122 games played last year. Wheeler is always a threat for the long ball – but even when he makes contact, he’s almost a lock to reach base safely.

 

Mikey Thomas: Michael “Mikey” Conforto

Both are underrated stars of the game. Both have incredible power against right-handers. Conforto has blasted 27 or more homers in three-straight years, with an .855 OPS in that span.

Thomas won’t be the best power-hitter in your lineup, but pitchers better not miss their spot.

 

Angela Delvecchio – Madison Bumgarner

A postseason legend who will occasionally hit an absolute bomb. Seldom will you get a poor outing from her.

 

Jocinda Smith/Stephanie Morgan: Bryce Harper

Overrated, but incredible potential. They all can make Gold Glove plays and hit 500-foot bombs, but we need consistency.

 

Dmitri Petrovich/Lisa Crockett – Trevor Bauer

Nerds who love the science behind baseball. Not sure if their twitter game would be as spicy as Bauer’s though.

 

Achmed Khan: Jeff McNeil

He’s low-key one of the game’s better hitters. He won’t wow you with his power, but it is there. He can steal bases easily, too, especially with some of those brutal arms behind the plate.

 

Amir Khan: Wilmer Flores

Not the best fielder ever, can give you a deep fly at times.

 

Luanne Lui/Vicki Kawaguchi: Billy Hamilton

Both are just as fast as Pete Wheeler but can’t do anything else. They have never hit the ball out of the infield. Your best hope is to drag bunt and get on base — which works at least 60 percent of the time.

 

Billy Jean Blackwood: Chris Davis

I would have put Jorge Garcia here, but Davis, like Blackwood, can still crank one deep. Jorge Garcia literally can’t do anything. While we’re at it.

 

Jorge Garcia: The worst player you can think of.

That’s it.

 

Kimmy Eckman: Wilson Ramos

Slower than slow. It’s bad. Ramos’ speed in MLB The Show is 0. Kimmy Eckman’s would probably be a negative 28. But they both still have some pop in their bat.

 

Reese Worthington, Sally Dobbs, Ronny Dobbs: Leury Garcia

Could be assets on a deep roster.

 

Ricky Johnson: Dexter Fowler

A nice player with potential threat on the base paths.

 

Dante Robinson: Victor Robles

Not the best power out there — nor is he the fastest in the game — but his speed is still dangerous and he will occasionally hit one out.

 

Tony Delvecchio: Justin Upton

When they’re hot, they are impossible to get out. Both have pretty decent arms and hit for power, and both have pretty average speed.

 

Kenny Kawaguchi: Marcus Stroman

A pure competitor and team player with great off-speed stuff. They also are among some of the better hitting pitchers in baseball.

 

Ernie Steele: Michael Pineda

Just goofy players, but certified units. Ernie is about eight feet tall, and Pineda stands at 6’7”.

 

Annie Frazier: Aaron Hicks

Pretty above average at everything — nothing is eye-popping except for occasional missiles launched into the bleachers.

 

Maria Luna: Joey Wendle

Not a superstar hitter, but the ball can occasionally find a hole. Also a threat to steal some bases.

 

Ashley/Sidney Webber: Taylor/Tyler Rogers

What else was I supposed to do?

By the way, did you know Jose Canseco had a twin brother in the bigs?

 

Gretchen Hasselhoff: Adam Engel

Low-key pretty fast, but that’s about it. Poor fielder. Gretchen was also the worst fielder in the game. She probably had more errors everyone else combined.

 

Marky Dubois: Justin Smoak

Super slow, but still can hit. And both are clear southerners. Cannot confirm or deny if Smoak has a pet frog.

Next: Nationals World Series rings feature Baby Shark, are a personal hell for all other baseball fans

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